I cannot find any dated originals of these poems but I have found the files from when I first typed them up. I am including those dates but I think some of these were written years before that.

Hopeless (2002-06-20)

I cannot promise that which I cannot predict.
I cannot stop the pain that I do not inflict.
One cloud is lonely and so the storm brews,
It will take your enemy, even if this is you.

We avoid the shadow, we fill it with light.
But in spite of the light there is that we can’t fight.
Evil we can’t see thrives and is rife,
Suspicion and hate all through my life.

My mind is a circus; canvas, ropes and poles.
But no ringmaster here, no-one with control.
The clown in his car, the roar of the crowd,
Nothing I recognise and all far too loud.

Over the cacophony a hope still rings through:
Indefinite union between me and you.
But no honesty resides behind your devious eyes,
For in them I see my own deception and lies.

A Rope Loop (2002-06-25)

I look at the sky
I wish I could fly
But here I do stoop
And tie a rope loop

I peer through the mist
If only we’d kissed
But the time has since gone
But oh how I long

I look into your eyes
How my heart cries
The moment has left
A silent theft

Viewing the past
It seems clear as glass
Emotion restrained
Emotion contained

The future is dark, hostile, unlit
The hope that one day I shall crack it
But rather I’m cracked, the rope hangs slack
In this torment I’m caught, the rope hangs taut

Pastures Old (2002-06-26)

In liquid sunlight, stood on the ground
The clouds looking down, content without sound
Caressing the air like a beloved friend
A tranquil vision, our last thought its end

We joke and laugh, tell our stories clear
On the soft, warm earth as it holds the grass so dear
Though we stand apart, we hold each other close
In our corpse we were born, like those we love the most

The grass may be green, but no envy there
Rippling gently, serene and green and fair
Each blade allows the breeze to have its will
With such soothing breath it refreshes the hill

You’ll see this in me, in my mind somewhere is glee
But the glee is not free if I cannot be
In these weightless chains bound, with the softest silk gagged
Watch me grow old, weary and haggard.

Roses to Thorns (2002-11-26)

The glistening fronds of dew-soaked pastures
As the soothing morning chorus sounds
Such a luxury they are considered
So privileged to reside in your eyes
So rare to be blessed with such gifts of nature
Yet wear them you do, without piety.

I consider a sinuous river
From your forehead to your toes it does flow
May I trace this course of perfection?
To observe your angelic form is sin
But to steal a short glimpse of your sweet smile
This risk I welcome and damn those against.

An enigma; the ultimate question
A fantasy beyond the mind alone
Beyond artists and sculptors and poets
Yet you lie still on this cloud, with me, now
Eternal moments flow around us
A solution is not yet desired.

But how dare I, naive and ignorant,
To taint your spirit with my greedy gaze
An insult that no-one could forgive
I am not worthy to behold such beauty
With your patient smile you remind me so
I glance away but still feel you so near.

I feel you lapping at my raging mind
You observe this turbulent waterfall,
Amused by its confusion and disorder
Calmly observe the self-centred torrent
Yet enthralled by the rapturous power
This untamed soothing, this attempt of mine.

I’m a cobra trying to charm his charmer
I’m guided by the rhythm you’re giving
With endless wisdom you lead my passion
I follow your signs; you show my path ahead
I am leashed - but with the gentlest collar
I would gratefully remain here forever.

As a playful dog that follows a wasp
Simple interest in something so harmful
Knows it may be stung, but can’t keep away
Marvelling at that which it cannot be
You deftly sculpt the steps of my desire
But you seem remote within my embrace.

My one true desire, one above all else
To remain with you for now and ever more
For this perfect dream to remain intact
I’ve done this before; you know it hurts me so
I fear my eyes closing, this dream cannot last
You’ll leave with my hopes, my health, my soul.

You, those before and those that may be
That herd me into these soft shackles
So you lead me like a fool, a convict
Give me more joy so you can take it away
Build a taller tower to throw me from
From love to sorrow, from roses to thorns.

Spotlight (2002-12-01)

Tired, hollow echo
They left a long time ago
Left me freezing and alone

Causes me such sorrow
Got a smile I could borrow?

If you just raised a finger and not point it at me
Let me hide on the stage and not be seen
You turn on the spotlight, a piercing, icey beam
In it’s glare I can take on a different theme.

Isn’t all that better
I’d be in your gang, follow to the letter
Leave my mind to fetter.

I cannot be certain
I cope only by aversion
Let it be forgotten

Paint Another Smile (2002-12-12)

Have you lived this life?
Have you searched for a mirror?
Seen your reflection in a friend?
Seen through it as they do?
Have you thought about change?
Re-painting this facade
Adding yet more layers
So that it buries the past?

If you look down this street
Stroll down and admire
The finials and frames
Pretty fakes and frauds.

What happened to them all?
Why must we do this?
Who says it must be this way?
When will we realise what we lost?

But aren’t they pretty and chic?
Would you want it any other way?
Have the ugly bricks exposed
and crumbling mortar on display?

Let us drop these worthless frames
They hold no value with me
Our bodies bent double under their weight
Or just paint another smile.

Know You’re Wrong (2002-12-20)

In every room I hear you
You give me no place to hide
With every breath I curse you
You give me reason to defy
Force your rules upon me
And I’ll throw them back in your eyes
Though you push me down I know I’ll rise up
Gonna break free from your lies.

Tried so hard to please you
For years gave all I could
Though you never really noticed
Didn’t treat me like you should
Take the law into my hands
After I worked them to the bone
Now I have your attention I won’t give it back
Because my soul you do no own.

Broke the weak link in your chain of command
You’re fools as you built the house of judgement on sand
Now the rains will come, the heavens will burst
Revolution is coming and you’re gonna be first
I’ll throw you down first when the table’s reversed.

I’m more patient than you know
I can weather your constant storm
One day your lighting will fail to strike me
And I’ll take on another form
I won’t beat you at your game
The game you’ve practised far to long
I’ll snap the chain and leave you for dead
Won’t know I’m going until I’m gone.

Some Pieces Move (2003-01-28)

They smile as they sentence an overseas foe
Through polished white teeth the lies march forth.
Loose ends tied with a pristine bow
Hiding their motives, hiding their cause.

For 50 more years we shall wonder quite why
Who makes these choices, who rolls the die?
Some pieces move whilst others lie:
The strong are the weak greed can entice.

Impotent population of millions
Out of control, caught in endless spin.
The eager battalions awaiting commands,
Grey suits give the order to begin.